Monday, October 26, 2009
{ 11:27 PM }
current mood: aching n sleepy
currently listening to: the only exception by paramore.
today i feel so lazy somehow.. just the thought of updating just made me feel lethargic.. i dunno if its me or if its the therapy sessions ive been going to.. its just weird cuz ive nvr been very tired n sleepy everytime i go out.. anywho.. i still have to go fr therapy tmr.. so super lazy.. aha.. school was alright i guess since i cud update during lecture haha.. went to rp after that to watch sp ruggers's final match for pol-ite games this year.. they actually did great haha... im proud of em.. but i wont be seeing most of them after this year cuz they are graduating nxt year.. kinda sad cuz they are good players haha. i miss sports..
wow.. i really do miss playing sports.. soccer, netball, and others... the adrenaline rush excites me and its what keeps me motivated to play.. having internal pains isnt smth that is fun cuz i need to execise to be healthier and not go fr stupid therapy sessions... haiz.. i miss shooting the ball into the net with the defender 3 feet infront of me.. haha.. i miss how my netball coach, ms gan screams at me when i dont get the ball in.. that kind of pressure always gives me the confidence to put in the goal.. but my appendix or what ever is on the right side of my lower abdomen is always hurting if i overwork myself or i think too much.. it kinda sucks for me cuz sports were the only thing i had growing up.. i was addicted to sports ever since i was like 4 or 5... it was like what i was supposed to do..
on the other hand.. music is also a calling for me i guess.. but then i know that im never good enough for it.. i cant play any instruments even if i tried.. i cant sing well.. but i guess some of my friends beg to differ.. one thing why i cant succeed in music is that i cant play instruments.. two. i dont have anyone to perform with.. three. i dont have any songs of my own. four. i cant really write much cuz i cant compose.. five.. im not worth having such talents.. ahaha.. well 5 main reasons why music dont do good for me either.. now i just dont know what the hell to do with my life..
maybe i'll just follow my dad's plan for me.. finish poly get a diploma.. then go australia and get a degree. come back find a stable job and save for marriage. then get married and move into new house.. then get kids and live happily with my family.. well i guess that might be the plan for me.. sometimes when my mum asks me when i plan to get married.. i always stutter to ans her.. when my dad asks me hows my studies going i always stutter too.. its just smth that is meant to wait until i have an end product to deliver to them.. guess i'll have to wait for another year..
its been a long day. and i have to get some sleep fr 8 am class tmr.. good day people.
