Sunday, October 25, 2009
{ 8:00 PM }
current mood: kinda thinking.
currently listening to: shelter bye jaejoong & yoochun
its been can i say mths since ive blogged. its been hectic.. well most of it was lazy.. well ive been living under a rock half these times and ive been spending most of my time outside hanging out at the playground near my house.. its kinda sad cuz i have no were else to go. its just that my friends are always there to hangout with but then im just sitting there doing nth but stare and drink my green tea.. ive been kinda oblivious to the fact that i miss something that was almost there.. it just hit me just now when i was reading and blog hopping. reality is that im the kind of person that nvr really finishes what she started..
examples will be my school.. i dropped out of biz to go into dmc.. i dint finish what i started but im trying to finish this.. another is this wonderful guy i met in my year one of dmc.. hes very nice.. always there to talk to and always there to cheer me up.. ive been neglecting him ever since holidays started or just abit b4 that cuz im busy doing nth with my life.. i miss the times we talk and joke around.. i miss the times that we meet up to get our fav drinks at starbucks and just sit and b silly. i miss the times when i hear him playing the guitar and playing a few songs that i fancy.. i just miss hugging him whenever i see him around.. but the one thing i miss most is his goofy smile he gives me everytime he sees me.. well i cant do anything much cuz i know he might have someone there for him.. someone so much better.. he deserves someone better.. he deserves someone that will always be there to see him on stage.. to have drinks with him at starbucks and just have a laugh about everything.. to just goof around with him and hug him when ever..
i guess im fine with everything now.. life love work play.. its all good.. i do miss what i used to have but i still have to concentrate on the present.. its a good start fr me cuz its smth new.. im starting to cut down on those things that makes u have cancer.. im starting to walk around more and enjoy fresh air.. im starting to get into music again but its going to be a halfway thing for me cuz i know im not good enough.. and im starting to realise that i have to live life one step at a time to enjoy lifes goodness. maybe i should start getting myself a drink at starbucks alone.. i dont mind.. it would b kinda refreshing.
i guess life isnt supposed to be just happy endings.. its kinda like hardships and suffering and heartbreak and also death.. im beat.
